Why is Finding A Therapist So Hard?
More often than not, finding a therapist can incite similar anxieties and negative feelings akin to dating. Some of us have had more experience and know exactly what we are looking for. While others may have had disappointing or even harmful experiences with therapy that may impact our ability to trust a new clinician. And if it’s your first time, you may have no idea as to what you’re looking for. No matter what level of experience you have with therapy, here are a few things to consider when looking for and interviewing (yes, I said interviewing) a therapist.
Budget and Schedule
Financial and scheduling logistics are often the biggest barrier to finding a therapist. In your introductory email or phone call make sure to ask your therapist about accepted forms of payment (e.g. Do they accept insurance? Are they private pay? Do they offer insurance reimbursement paperwork?) and their session availability. This will help filter out any therapist who does not fit your preliminary therapy needs.
Always ask about free consultations.
Therapy can feel like a big commitment — emotionally, physically, and financially — so it’s important to get the opportunity to talk with your therapist before beginning the process. Keep in mind that not all clinicians provide a free consultation, so you get to decide what feels best for you.
Prepare 1-2 questions for the therapist
Although your relationship with your therapist is professional, there is a unique level of trust and emotional intimacy required for healthy and productive therapy. Prepare a few questions that you may need to be answered, to best assess if your therapist can provide a space that supports multiple parts of your identity and experiences. The questions can be as direct as “Have you worked with individuals from (QT-BIPOC, disabled, immigrant, adult survivors of abuse) community?” or “How do you acknowledge and consider the impacts of oppression when working with clients?” Now more than ever, therapy is political. It is incredibly important to be able to know and trust that your therapist’s, psychologist’s, or psychiatrist’s beliefs do not contradict your human rights.
Allow Yourself to Pause
As the consultation or first session comes to a close, it can feel like there is a lot of pressure to know whether or not you want to work with a therapist. Give yourself permission to take some time to reflect on your session/consultation and then make a decision. It can often feel like you are auditioning for the therapist but remember they are also offering you a service. It’s important to give yourself a moment to make sure you feel comfortable with your choice. (Especially if you are someone who has difficulty with boundaries, ending relationships, or saying goodbye).
Ultimately, finding a therapist can be a grueling process; it takes patience, planning, and sometimes, even a bit of luck. Below are a few of my favorite therapist directories and therapist-matching platforms to help in your therapy journey. Best of luck and happy searching!
—Ife Kehinde, LMHC